Public Statement

At times I get fed up with being a Christian. My heart gets weary as I look and see how Jesus is often misrepresented, by the people who hang out in “His” building.

That label, “Christian” is so quickly applied, yet not understood. I wonder when that label was coined. I am certain that it wasn’t hashed out around a small gathering of the first church leaders as they decided how best to show the world that they were different. In my imaginings, the early believers of “the truth revealed in Christ from God” simply knew that in Jesus the Christ, they were powerful, filled with a ravenous love and a purity that could not be contained, but revealed them as the sons of God.

In many ways I am an idealist. A harsh reality to accept of one-self. Filled with moments of darkness, frustration and criticism. In these times I have before and will publicly admit, been critical of styles and types of how Christ is interpreted in this world. Often I would groan about the churches that are bound by tradition or starved of life, snigger at the super churches whose slick presentations seem to turn more chair occupancy then a food court in a mall and admittedly would feel rage when a church meeting spent more time advertising the social get-togethers of church members then teach the word.

I would go through days of despondency. Sure that the message of Christ was only being revealed in its entirety in a small percentage of the world church. Often I would lament for The Body of Christ to become the glorified body that is equal in power to the head that sits upon it. My sorrow was from a judgmental “I have all the answers” throne.

Awhile ago I heard a powerful woman say “If the church of today were to be taken up to Heaven now, the world would hardly miss us. However there is a coming day when the church will be walking in its intended power and influence and the world will be very aware of it.”

This somehow was life to my bones. I suddenly could see so clearly. I could see the beautiful Body of Christ, all denominations and all united, beautiful in its diversity. Powerful in its numbers. I could see the “cancer” in the body too. The cancer of unbelief, deception and hopelessness, that affects all parts of the body. Not just one denomination , not just them, but me to.

I have; since being captivated by the love of God in Jesus, five years ago, been very clear about one thing, to many people. I would tell them I have no religion; only a faith. That statement still rings true. However many times that I uttered it, it was from a place in my heart where I was just down right embarrassed by my family in Christ. I did not want to be associated to the ones that are shrouded in tradition, deception and an unbelief in the intimacy of a loving Father God.

Yet.

Yet I know the greatest gift that God has given me to stand firm in my identity and positioning in Jesus, as a son of God, is Love. Not love that you find in a gift card, a chat and a cup of coffee… it is LOVE. The same love that called lightness into dark, creating the sun. The same love that formed man from dust. The same Love that split the red sea, that same Love that ripped the temple curtain in half. Love that bore the entire demonic realm in full assault, and triumphed. Love that ripped the partitioning between God and man, apart and bridged the gap for ALL. ALL of humanity. Hindus, Muslims, atheists, Jews and Christians alike. ALL OF MANKIND.

That places me in a  spot. No more do I want to unwittingly slap my fellow family members in Christ on the face, as I make remarks about the areas that they are deceived in/have unbelief in/had no hope in. Instead as I treat myself, by applying grace to my heart where it battles through LOVE, I should apply the same to them. As I contend for miraculous healing in my life, I should contend for the healing of the Body of Christ.

Every comment, even in jest, helps to maintain a pattern of thought and belief. Critical patterns of thought help to maintain unbelief, deception and hopelessness. Therefore I am publicly stating that no longer am I going to be open to discussions – often rooted in a  critical, bitter heart – on the state of ANY* local church.

*Any is inclusive of every form and type.

She is still alive…

A few weeks ago a friend mentioned that she had looked at my blog. My first thought was; “Oh yeaaahhh, I have a blog!” and then “cripes, it’s been awhile!”

So here I am. About to type something that could have the power to transform your world. Hm. (Change topic here)

The last time I tip-tappidy typed here I was a single gal, living in Hong Kong, waiting for God to prompt my next move. Being an African at heart, I was along way from home, staking much on God’s word that Hong Kong was where I was meant to be. Work was interesting, a signed document of discretion, ends all discussion on that. By the time 30 November 2010 came around, I was done. Oh in so many ways… pass me a chaise lounge and a fan and I would divulge on all my seemingly momentary afflictions.

In so many ways my life was about to radically change. I resigned from my job and began working out a 2 month resignation term. I fell in love, with my Prince Charming and dared to believe that if I stop all my attempts, that Jesus would lift me to such great heights.

From the 1st of February 2011 until April 2011, I travelled in South Korea, India and back home to South Africa. My life in Hong Kong was packed into rice bags, my room sublet, relationships maintained by Skype and I was adventuring.

By the time I got back to my Hong Kong home in April, I arrived to a proposal and began planning a wedding for July 16th 2011.  Oh God’s unending favour – insert in here story after story oh His provision and attention to so many details in my heart. My fiancé and I travelled home to South Africa 3 weeks before our wedding. Got acquainted with each others family, fell in love with them and worked out the last details to a very special day.

We had a 1 month honeymoon, experiencing some of the finest aspects of our Homeland and ending in a 9 day exploration of Thailand where I realised a 12-year-old dream of learning to spying on fish on a coral reef.

Arriving back home in mid August 2011, I began doing just what God spoke to me whilst I was sipping tea in a hotel on the foothills of the Himalayas. I began setting up my office and dreaming of pencils, paint and design. No full-time place would be filled by me this year.

I haven’t had a constant salary since January 2011.  In fact I like referring to myself as unemployed. After declaring in June, that I would like some part-time work, but would only work in my small district for a good rate for only a few hours a week and would not teach in a kindergarten for it, I arrived in Hong Kong and within 24 hours was offered just that.

In the last 2 months many dreams have been realised for me.  God’s promises from the first days that we began talking in 2007 to moments that we shared recently have all been blooming in my life.

It’s not by my  strength or ability to bring about. But solely by His word that He speaks being so powerful that when we agree with it and allow it to be planted  in our hearts and minds, it simply takes over and bares such awesome “fruit.”

A heart is easier to share than a palate

Living in Hong Kong, is not as culturally difficult as say living across the border in The Mother Land. In fact it is almost comfortable, being a westerner, in this densely populated microscopic piece of land. Culture’s become blurred, accents soften and tongues loosen as lips form around phrases in dialects from afar and wide.

It is just time until you become completely unaware of the difference between yourself and the people that swarm around you. You instinctively liken them to yourself and culture is forgotten.

That is until you gather around the dinner table with a group of mixed ethnicity. It is here that my tongue, that powerful organ, has awoken my slumbering knowledge that I hail from a land known for diversity, but not this particular kind!

Since these moments of chewing on multiple forest fungi and tree roots, I have realized that although cultures and land should be explored that perhaps some food should not.

This is not an incentive for western fast food giants to reign in Hong Kong, as if anything the western palate is misrepresented in the east. Most people from the east think that French fries, burgers and baked goods are THE western delicacy.

Rather this discovery in my life has revealed to me that a heart is easier to share than a palate sometimes.

White Man Speak With Fork Tongue.

I was in a stationary store, browsing for cards for friends and family back home, when I stumbled over this gem! As I held it in my paw, my mind began to reel as lists of names of people who had promised to write, began to fill my mind. I admit to feeling a snigger or two come upon me as I contemplated the various means of sending this one postcard to multiple addresses. Then a realisation hit me like a wet fish in the face. I had promised to write on this blog weekly… and I haven’t.

Turns out that I am more a suitable recipient of said postcard.

Joy is not only a shoe shop in HK…

Joy (noun) great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

I cannot argue, but would rather commend the use of the word “joy” to name a shoe shop. A good pair of shoes are a wonderous source of happiness, especially when they are on sale. However I know where a deeper source of joy can be eternally drunk from.

This deeper source of joy is not reliant on seasonal trends. It does indeed inspire creativity that fuels the very seasonal human trends that result in great 50% off Sales. It differs from anything human, as it is a source that is completely self-sustainable, self-reliant and unlimited. In fact it could be suggested that you can only ever grow in your experience of what this true joy is. You can define it as you experience it.

This joy can’t be found in shoe sales, chocolate bars, cocktail bars or even in the arms of a tycoon who supplies all the fore mentioned. Indeed one’s journey to this source might detour into many superficial avenues, yet the destination point is an eternal evolving journey into joy.

This true joy, is part of a flowing eternal river of life. As you journey into it, you go deeper and you begin to learn how to navigate it. Access to this joy-ride, comes through one point alone. The Creator of the Universe, holds the ticket in His hand, waiting for you to reach up and giddy with excitement yank it from his hand.

The seductive lure of vibrant oil paint

Tonight I got offered a job. A job that did not involve phonics or “the wheels on the bus”. A job where I could be the voice of authority, persona in charge, over an establishment that houses canvases transformed by vivid oils, paint tubes, easels and the artists themselves.

It was such a splendid offer for my senses and ego, perfected only if a chilled flute of champagne should have appeared at my right and big band performance to my left.

My head has kept me up rationalizing the immense pros to this con.

The thrill of finding who you are

* I wrote this over a year ago, you might have seen it before on facebook, I just reread  it and felt I should re-post it here*

The moment between the pancake mixture hitting the pan, was eternal. Not in time, but in capacity. That brief slice of time, was when what it meant to be someone who goes ahead of others finally nestled into the depths of me; between the desire to drum like Animal and the need to love.

When you have been wrestling with a thought, as i often do, for so long without having a handle on it, it can become painful. Especially when the question is what your own soul labours over and the answer is what can sometimes feel like the first rain in a centuries drought.

To go ahead of others implies that inevitably you are leading those behind forward. You are a leader.

Why do leaders get such admiration, if they too are just human and as susceptible to the human condition as we all are. What is this admiration for? “Well its because they are who they are…” is an answer often given. So if the awe for them is given out of reverence for their simple bravado to live their lives as themselves, this implies that those staring on are in awe of something they have no possession of, themselves as an individual.

The human inability to be what they are created to be wreaks havoc and chaos and ultimately creates the need for leadership. Humans were created by God to live in harmony with one another, each individual created as an intricate irreplaceable part of a greater symphony. Lives lived in selfish obsessions and closed communities are what disable this harmony. There are many factors to this, but this broad sweeping statement is given due to time constraints and the need to move on.

Its easier to live your life under direction from another human, than to open yourself up to God’s direction. (Enter realigion…this is another by note). This is merely because it is easier to keep peace, gain comfort, be secure and have someone else be accountable than it is to simply walk in God’s guidance.
This may not make sense, you could be asking “If God is sovereign and knows everything about you, created you ingrediate by The moment between the pancake mixture hitting the pan, was eternal. Not in time, but in capacity. That brief slice of time, was when what it meant to be someone who goes ahead of others finally nestled into the depths of me; between the desire to drum like Animal and the need to love.

When you have been wrestling with a thought, as i often do, for so long without having a handle on it, it can become painful. Especially when the question is what your own soul labours over and the answer is what can sometimes feel like the first rain in a centuries drought.

To go ahead of others implies that inevitably you are leading those behind forward. You are a leader.

Why do leaders get such admiration, if they too are just human and as supseptable to the human condition as we all are. What is this admiration for? “Well its because they are who they are…” is an answer often given. So if the awe for them is given out of reverence for their simple bravado to live their lives as themselves, this implies that those staring on are in awe of something they have no possesion of, themselves as an individual.

The human inability to be what they are created to be wreaks havoc and chaos and ultimately creates the need for leadership. Humans were created by God to live in harmony with one another, each individual created as an intricate irreplaceble part of a greater symphony. Lives lived in selfish obsessions and closed communities are what disable this harmony. There are many factors to this, but this broad sweeping statement is given due to time constraints and the need to move on.

Its easier to live your life under direction from another human, than to open yourself up to God’s direction. (Enter realigion…this is another bynote). This is merely because it is easier to keep peace, gain comfort, be secure and have someone else be accountable than it is to simply walk in God’s guidance.
This may not make sense, you could be asking “If God is souveriegn and knows everything about you, created you ingrediate by ingrediate, why would you even think about not listening to what He says about you and your future?”
One reason could be; that God will sometimes prophesy in part. So like in Josephs case, tell you fragments of the story and than its your trust in Him and what He told you to be true that walks with you as you go forward. However when you are walking forward in the dark lonely valleys preparing a way for those to come, and all you are hearing is the perspective that people have of you; it is in this place that it is easy to identify yourself with what they say you are. Because it means that you could stop there, it is an oppurtunity to discard the dream.

“Why would you want to stop?” Because going ahead of others is painful. It takes balls. Logically you can understand that if you are walking forward preparing a way for those to go through – it suggests that you are clearing, building a safe passage that can accomodate not one but many. Like Abraham inherited a nation, we to by living our lives as God intended us to will inherite the nations. With such a huge Godly inheritance awaiting us, can you even fathom the opposition? That is why it is painful. Yet God glorifies Himself through the opposition by purifying us, in result “God rides on the shoulders of those who are pure.” “God blesses those who are pure in heart, for they will see the Lord”

So the necessity to be yourself as God created you and not as your parents ordained you, has eternal ramnifications. Not is terms of your salvation, but in terms of your inheritance in God’s kingdom. Which is why the scripture that instructs parents to lead their children in the ways that God created them for, is such a charged verse.

and this is where i leave of… as i go forth to discover with my Heavenly Father and Divine Creater, who I am meant to be. I think it should be fun ingratiate, why would you even think about not listening to what He says about you and your future?”
One reason could be; that God will sometimes prophesy in part. So like in Josephs case, tell you fragments of the story and than its your trust in Him and what He told you to be true that walks with you as you go forward. However when you are walking forward in the dark lonely valleys preparing a way for those to come, and all you are hearing is the perspective that people have of you; it is in this place that it is easy to identify yourself with what they say you are. Because it means that you could stop there, it is an oppurtunity to discard the dream.

“Why would you want to stop?” Because going ahead of others is painful. It takes balls. Logically you can understand that if you are walking forward preparing a way for those to go through – it suggests that you are clearing, building a safe passage that can accommodate not one but many. Like Abraham inherited a nation, we to by living our lives as God intended us to will inherit the nations. With such a huge Godly inheritance awaiting us, can you even fathom the opposition? That is why it is painful. Yet God glorifies Himself through the opposition by purifying us, in result “God rides on the shoulders of those who are pure.” “God blesses those who are pure in heart, for they will see the Lord”

So the necessity to be yourself as God created you and not as your parents ordained you, has eternal ramifications. Not is terms of your salvation, but in terms of your inheritance in God’s kingdom. Which is why the scripture that instructs parents to lead their children in the ways that God created them for, is such a charged verse.

And this is where I leave of… as i go forth to discover with my Heavenly Father and Divine Creator, who I was created to be. I think it will be fun